Sometimes not all Jokes are funny; they can
also stir someone’s emotion to light the lonely past. The horror, the pain the
dark and gloomy experience which everyone wants to forget. A day become weeks, weeks become months and
suddenly it is almost a year. A tear keep falling, feet keeps stumping, and
heads keeps nodding asking why a heavy heart have much pain. If only all bad
memories could be kept on a sackcloth and bury under the ground or under a
deep blue sea then preferably all these mystery are just a memoirs from the
past. However, in reality it is just a fantasy.
It
all started when one friend did something unbearable, breaks
some rules that nearly breaks my faith. The trusts you give diminish, then
another trusted friend aggravated the pain that you are managing to ease. You
need a fresh air, you need to breathe, you need to get out of that room or else
to gonna burn. You need to find your comfort stone your dwelling place, enable
lighten the heavy feeling, let anger subsides so that it will not turn into hate
because after all they are part of your fragile life.
Hastily
you need a plan a strategic planning as they say at the office. Then mingling
with other crowds is one of a selfish idea to ease the pain. Bar after bar,
station after station. One drinks then booze, play and another fight. Sudden
joy comes in a short period of hour, night or day. Afterwards after all the gimmicks,
the barhopping, food tripping, the camping you find yourself all ALONE. The cycle
tries another round, one booze, wine, play, fight and have a good time all
ALONE. Then at one point, you realize the answer, the antidote, the medicine of
this ill-fated loneliness.
After
those time all you need is to have FAITH, and be Happy in everything
you do, ALONE or with somebody. Little by little, one-step into another,
gradually the past is just a glimpse of memory. Happy days, good time and peace of mind are at hand.
Then suddenly a few words by a good friend unintentionally
stirs the emotion and reflects the past. All the burden, the pain the memories
that you put on the sackcloth is not being buried after all. It is just hanging
through a single treed, ready to hurt and pound you again because it is just
above your head.
I do not want to go
through that painful road again, as for me I need to solve it ALONE.
And finding a solitude is a long ride and I have to do it all ALONE..
C’mon just a Crazy Thought, Insanity
comes all the time. Call me Crazy if you want. But mind you the pain is not
that hurtful if I don’t care, If I don’t
cherish ,If I don’t have an affection
to the friendship that we had. Teardrop flows on my cheeks again, my feet keeps
on stumping hardly, my head node against a solid wall, hopping by tomorrow a
gentle hands would held me up.... and I will never be ALONE again...